Balancing the phone on the back fingers, using the thumb and pointer to expand the photo? That’s some Simone Biles-level hand gymnastics. Specifically how I pinch-zoom on the 'grams to “cut out” distracting details-his wife, new baby, and rescue dog-and how this base act actually requires real dexterity. It was maybe four weeks into my most recent job when I started telling my newish coworkers, many of whose lower halves I had yet to meet (hat tip, pandemic), about how I masturbate to pictures of my ex-boyfriend on Instagram.
